BUS? PASS!!

by DAMO!
(Dublin)

It seems no matter where you wait
The bus you want is always late
Buses abound in every other direction
But of yours there is no mention.

You check the timetable for the twentieth time
To wait this long is almost a crime
you promise the driver a piece of your mind
You will not stand for a service of this kind

You are losing your patience as the minutes tick by
So frustrated you could almost cry
Those waiting for you will kick up a fuss
They cannot believe it is always the bus

As time passes you are resigned to being late
You stop pacing, just stand and wait
But lo and behold that is your bus on the way
And you begin to think this might be your lucky day

But the bus flies past empty, making no attempt to stop
The speed it was doing makes you look for a chasing cop
T’was going faster than any illegal immigrant across a border
While proudly displaying a sign stating it is “Out of Order”!?

When your bus arrives much later, it is old and dilapidated
the smell of diesel fumes alone would have you suffocated
The windows are dripping wet with pure condensation
Would it be too much too ask for a little ventilation?

The driver is so ignorant, he just grunts and growls
A face on him like a man with an irritable bowel
If you don’t have the exact fare, he will give you a terrible time
Worse than if you had slept with his wife, or committed a crime.

Yet again there is not a seat to be found in the place
No room here for respecting anyone’s “personal space”
The bus is already packed tighter than any sardine tin
But the driver could care less, he keeps letting people in

He accelerates and brakes, he seems to care very little
As passengers are thrown round like a bunch of skittles
Many miss their stops though they have rung the bell
But surprise, surprise, they are out of order as well.

God help you if you are old, or in any way incapacitated
Because this tends to get the driver even more frustrated
Women with buggies seem to push them to the end of their tether
And the sight of a wheelchair can make them lose it altogether

More often than not you arrive late at your destination
The whole experience leaving a sense of exasperation
though standards keep going down, fares are constantly rising
the fact that passenger numbers are down is hardly surprising

Do not drive, take the bus, is the latest suggestion
To address the growing problem of traffic congestion
Though you might agree and see merit in the ideal
You see how bad the service is and wonder if they are for real

Why would anyone take heed when the service is so bad
To do as they suggest you would have to be mad.
Unless they put passenger safety and customer care first
No one will use public transport and they will eventually go BUSt !

© Damian Murphy DAMO! 2013