by DL Bach
(Knoxville, TN)

I polished the brass today
and the glass I did clean
then I turned, seeking prints
and eyes smiling with a gleam
instead I was looking through
my spotless window glass
and perfectly waxed is
my antiqued knobs of brass
I scrubbed and I scoured
my many pots and pans
wishing they could just once be
drums for tiny, happy hands
down upon my hands and knees
cleaning to shine my tiled floor
but in my mind it should be
adventures for you to explore
I dusted off all the wood
returning the threaded sheen
longing for tiny fingerprints
but only dust was to be seen.

Alone I sit lamenting
deafened by the sound of my tears
wanting the pain to go way
trying to drown my many fears
all my life held one goal
a mama I was to be
running, laughing and playing
with more than just two or three
but, alas, the fates they stepped in
and dreams cannot come true
I searched and tried to reason
because I really wanted you
there was no easy way
but I searched and tried to find
the choice that I had to keep
to only you I have been kind
never will of my belly grow
to give you your first home
my loving arms will never hold
a baby all my own
my breasts will never know
a tiny suckling babe
try as I can, dreams of my heart
those memories will never fade.

June 18 2009

© DL Bach

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sad but sweet
by: McCollonough Ceili

Your poem is wonderfully written but oh so sad. It made me think of my adopted great grandmother who could not bare children of her own.

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