FUNNY VOICEMAIL GREETINGS
Personalized answer messages have been standard for landlines and cell
phones for years. Funny Voicemail Greetings from the writers
at My Word Wizard take a humorous approach to this modern day necessity
with light hearted, witty messages that will make you laugh, and
perhaps even inspire you to create a few of your own.
The quality of the voicemail feature on telephones is so good these
callers might even think they are speaking with you directly, and not
your voicemail. That is, if you record the message in just the right
Your friends and family will just love calling you with these hilarious
messages that will entertain them and make them smile.
We think you will especially enjoy this collection.
Single and Available?
Hi and thanks for calling. If you are a single, attractive, gainfully
employed man calling for a date, thank you so much!. If you are a
single, attractive, gainfully employed man not calling for a date,
please hang on so I can change your mind. All other callers, including
my parents, you have reached the wrong number.
Thanks for calling me again; you’re really a determined collections
agent. I appreciate all the letters too. Again, I appreciate all the
attention, but there is a problem. I’m broke. You can keep
calling, at least until my phone gets cut off and keep writing, but you still can’t get blood out of a turnip.
A Reason To Pick Up
Yeah you know I’m here, don’t you? Still you have to give me a reason
to pick up the phone. My day was already boring. I really don’t want to hear about
your bad day or your boyfriend troubles. I don’t even have a boyfriend,
remember? If your message is worthy of a callback, you’ll hear from me
soon. If not, try again tomorrow. Love you!
Hey mom and dad. Uhmmm I have some really important things to do, so I
won’t be able to make it over for Grandma’s party. I hope you still
love me because I love you. See ya! (Background noise before hanging
up.) Hey___________,let’s go out and get silly. Just told my parents
A Sensitive Guy
Hello, sexy ladies. Sorry I can’t be home to take your call. I’m either
at my parents’ house while my mom does my laundry or out at
the nursing home delivering a little arsenic to my sugar
momma. If you’re looking for a sensitive, caring man, leave your name
and bank account. Ciao!
Poetry by Natasha Niemi