by Peter Allen Eaglesfield Clarke
(Winchester UK)


I have a massive headache
my vision is all blurry
My mouth tastes like crap
and my tongue is all furry

I went out to the pub last night
and had some stuff to drink
Now that I am lying dying
it has really made me think

Perhaps If I had not got drunk
I would feel alright
Then I might remember
If I enjoyed the night

How I got this black eye
I guess I’ll never know
Perhaps I drank too much too fast
When I should have been slow

If I had stuck to lemonade
My wallet might still be here
Instead I think I lost it
Because I drank a lot of beer

I don’t know how my shirt got ripped
Or how I lost my jeans
Or why my face is covered
With cold and dried baked beans

Getting drunk is awesome though
I’m sure I had a blast
I think I wandered round for hours
Before I got home at last

But it was fun; at least I think
Because I cannot see
I woke up in a pile of vomit
Underneath a tree

It is so funny lying here
Looking at the sky
My neighbours are all watching me
To see if I will die

I think I will; my head is splitting
And I still feel sick
From now on I’ll stick to water
It has far less of a kick

Getting drunk is very clever
It makes me feel a man
Although next time I drink
I will only have one can.

Peter Allen Eaglesfield Clarke

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