If You Saw
by Reuben Morales
(Fresno California USA)
"IF YOU SAW"
If I came to you with outstretched arms and palms up,
Would you see my emptiness?
Would you see that I know who Regret is, that I have conversations with Guilt, that I am harassed by Defeat daily.
Would you see that I am stitched together with pain and misfortune caused by "My" intentional decisions stemmed from pride and arrogance. Would you see that I am fear riddled and anxious with my next (for lack of a better word)...."baby" step.
What would you see?!?
Would you see that I have no idea what adulthood is.
Would you see, for as hard as I LOVE, (or what my twisted, selfish, western, idea of love is) I want someone to love me harder and more true than I could even comprehend.
Would you see, that I would try to sabotage that love....because I feel I don't deserve it.
Would you see "my” honesty, or the real honesty hiding behind my eyes.
Would you still let your heart touch mine, if you saw me.