Irish Ned

by Kerry Valkyrie Baldock Kelly
(Mayo, Ireland)

Farming is messy!


Locals cling to the old ways; Tractors and pranks pass the wet summers.


Old Ned couldn't drive.


Two young bored farmhands picked fun.


'Label the pedals,' Ned instructed.


Laughing, the word 'brake' was put on the clutch


And 'clutch' on the brake.


After a struggle Ned called brusquely,


'I'm going on the beer.'


His men kindly laced the ale with castor oil.


Walking like a duck Ned struggled to the gate and wasn't seen for two days.


In the field the wife cried,


'What did you do to my Neddy? The sofa and bed are ruined!'