Ode to Obesity
by Susan McClurg Berman
(Moraga, CA, USA)
Big butt, fat gut,
Eat fast, add more salt,
Qualify for heart transplant.
Join a gym,
Never go in,
Increase hours of couch sit-in'.
Drink ten large soft drinks dailey-s,
Eat all the chili cheese fries that you please-s,
Develop type two diabee-tes.
Fresh veggies, fruit or broiled chicken,
All so dull you never eat 'em,
Overlook your chronic heartburn symptom.
Got a treadmill for your home, Bro,
To walk while watching TV's talents show,
Now a place for cob-webs to grow.
No room for meat that's lean,
Certainly never eat anything green,
Ignore your increased hyperten-si-on.
Meat lovers' pizza with double pepperoni,
Stuff deep-dish kind with extra pecaroni,
Harden up that flabby arter-ee.
Sprinkle baked potatoes with half a pound a' bacon,
Pour three more fingers Turkey bourbon,
Show symptoms of arterial fibrillation.
Drink double salted Margaritas,
Eat plates of guac and corn chips fritas,
And deep-fried cheese stuffed shrimpies.
High blood pressure off the chart,
Could that stabbing pain be your heart attack?
Quick, someone find a cardiac crash cart.