Rude Poetry 

Forthrightness can be a virtue.  Our collection of Rude Poetry examines telling it like it is from the flipside. When does honesty become tactless and insensitive?  At My Word Wizard, we believe it is in everyone's interest to strike the right balance. This can go a long way towards preserving a friendship, a relationship, or just saving someone from embarrassment.  

Our writers have crafted some vivid examples of bluntness at its crudest, with a lightheartedness that has become our trademark.  We hope their work inspires some introspection on how we approach our friends, colleagues and family.

We think you will enjoy our collection of humorous, discourteous poems.

An Unworldly Odor

You were not yet in the room
But rather like a sonic boom
Your special scent announced your approach
Our lives have been blighted
By the smell you’ve ignited
Now it is time for reproach
So please take a shower
And relieve us of your power
To ruin our day
With a smell that just won't go away

Bad Taste

We hate to be blunt
Or cause an affront
But we must share with you
A thought or two
On deepest reflection
And without seeking perfection
Your wardrobe lacks any sense of taste
We weren’t consulted
Perhaps you’re insulted
But we humbly advise you
To have it replaced

Three Left Feet

You’re not much of a dancer
Though you think you’re a prancer
The site of you bopping is bleak
It is our intuition
Should you enter competition
You’ll be booted in less than a week

Hair She Comes

We have to admit
You’ve got your own style
It shows from your head to your feet
But you may wish to ponder
Why we were so much fonder
Of your hairstyle, short and so sweet
Before you transformed it
chopped and adorned it
Now it reminds us of peat!

A Breath of Fresh Air

I really must tell you
And I won’t pull my punch
When you open your mouth
I can smell your lunch
This daily occurrence
is starting to tire
Your breath is so bad
It could start a fire
So consider my words
As advice from a friend
Please use some breath mints
Or our friendship will end!

Poetry by Alan Loren

Share Your Rude Poetry and 
We'll Publish It Online

Are you a poet or aspiring poet. Our editors are always looking for new poems to add to our collection. Submit your Crass Poems to our editors by  clicking the "contact us" link at the bottom of this page.


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