Shattered Glass

by Mrs Amanda Carter

Jet black hair splayed right across a silken pillow
The duvet is slowly turning a deep crimson red
Gurgling noises emanate from her slender throat
From the sturdy four poster bed
Slight pale wrists are slit straight through to the bone
Her life’s blood is escaping, gathering speed
Spreads slowly but doesn’t clot quickly
A painful steady flowing bleed
An a hour ago before her final silent moments
Her mind just drifted far away
Before this very night she was excited
Saw him earlier that very day
Happily telling him she was with child
Laughing whilst showing him the scan photo of his first son
Confused seeing his face cloud over
Like he was regretting what they had done
So deflated she walked towards her home
Not before buying a mirror on the way
Unlocks the door dejected and numb
Deciding the bed is the final place they will lay
She takes the little blue pills from her bedside drawer
Just two would terminate their love child
She swallows twenty two with a glass of vine
Despair finally allows her to cry
The pill threaten to evacuate her body
So she reaches and then sits upon her bed
She lifts up the mirror and smashes it to the floor
Then picks up just a single sharp shard instead
Her stomach growls at her in anger
Senses her beautiful baby is no longer alive anymore
Lost are her first love and now her baby the same day
No reason for her to exist anymore
So she starts to turn the shard over in her hand
Her eyes twinkle as it catches the lamp light
Looking towards the pretty bay window
Watching the dawning stormy night
Instinct tells her a thunderstorm is closing in
She can almost sense the impending rain
Soon enough the tears slide down her pale cheeks
Her womb contracts with the severe pain

So repositioned to the side of the bed
Dragging the shard across her dainty wrist
First of all the skin slightly puckers
She starts to wonder has she missed
Then finally the red liquid starts to pump out
Flowing so fast and it’s just so thick
Starting to go light headed she lays down
Trying to resist the urge to be sick
Her life blood sprays out onto her pillow
Echoing in her head she hears the ringing of her phone
His familiar voice permeates her aching brain
He sounds so distant and just like her he’s alone
“My darling, I’m just so very sorry”
“I was being ruled solely by my stupid fear”
“A thousand emotions just took over”
“Yet now I’m thinking really clear”
“I love you my baby girl”
“I want to be together and raise our son”
“Baby are you there maybe your asleep”
“I will be over at half past one”
She tries to rise from the bed but has no strength
Her blood has sprayed all over the room
Looks like a massacre has taken place and in a way it has
This place is to become her tomb
So now I sit here watching from the corner of the room
I am just three or four metres away
My body was still and my baby is gone
So in this corner I now have to stay
My heartbreaker burst through the door an hour ago
Every medic left gradually all with a sad dejected face
He needed sedated the medics will need therapy
My family will soon come and empty this macabre place
Had I just waited 24 more hours like a normal person
Thing would have worked themselves right
A mother and a child would still be alive
I wouldn’t have bled and died tonight
My punishment is now to sit in this corner and watch it again and again on a loop
The soul of my child was allowed in to heaven
I couldn’t have had him here at my side
Never again will I have the chance to feel him within me
Because of my sin I must always sit here and watch how we both died

Mandy Wigan

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