I’m only in hospital because I am sick, apparently I’m quite stressed
Although I’m in relatively good nick, what I need most is lots of rest
But they wake me every night at twelve o clock or so, for my sleeping pill
Seriously though, I am beginning to know, why it is that some people kill
Then they wake me every morning, at a very early hour
Despite each and every warning that I’m losing my will power
I have tried to convey my frustration, in a calm and rational way
But they seem intent on sleep deprivation for the duration of my stay
Losing sleep is bad enough if it would just stop there
But I cannot even eat the stuff the kitchen here prepare
It’s nearly always cold and impossible to chew
And I’m fed up being told that I’ve lost a stone or two
I have not been sick before so taking pills is a battle
And if I have to take one more I know I will start to rattle
Injections by the score, so many every week
I do not drink liquids any more because I’m afraid I’ll spring a leak
Every day a different test, am I just a guinea pig?
I am trying my level best not to give someone a dig
They seem obsessed with bowel movements, always monitoring it
and get frustrated when they're no improvements, but I don't give a sh*t!
Then there is the matron, a scrawny ancient hen
Who excels at domination and seems to hate all men
But the students are worse as they are put through their paces
and you can tell when things are serious by the looks on their faces
I am here because of stress, What a bloody joke!
Maybe I would care less if they would just let me smoke
I have to check myself out and I will not be back
Because staying here no doubt will give me a heart attack
Thank god to be out of there, some other sucker has my bed
Just one more day in there and I would have gone home dead.