by Tim Parry
(Reading, UK )

Let me lighten your load
While I massage your toes
I could straighten your coccyx and spine.
I'll be making the point
While I'm stretching your joints
That your posture's in gradual decline.

I'll be twisting your head
As I'm pulling your leg
While my knee's in the small of your back.
I could prick you with pins
To encourage your yin
As I'm bathing your body in wax.

At my private address
I could needle your flesh
Just to make your meridians flow.
My vibrating device
Should completely suffice
While this poultice will make your skin glow.

When your aura's amiss
Let my reiki assist
Yes these herbs will rebalance your chi.
My prognosis I shout
Has left me in no doubt
That you're simply allergic to me.

If the going gets tough
Simply savour your puff
Have some cortisone for your old joints.
Should you need ultrasound
You can pay by the pound
Or is it that overstretching the point.

So when twisting your neck
Just remember to stretch
And be certain to bend at the knees.
Keep your posture upright
Floss your teeth every night
Then you'll live to one hundred and three.

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