by Anthony Wayde Vail
(Battle Creek Michigan, Calhoun)
The monster in my head he talks to me softly. I really believe he wants me dead. He calls out my name and I shiver and shake in fear.At times I don't even know he's there. He just appears out of the dark comers of my mind. He's always there I can never run, hide or disappear.I beg and plead and ask him to leave; to no avail. He's always asking me to do unthinkable things. He's cunning, baffling and powerfull. He'll play on my emotions of guilt,shame and despair, He whispers; don't you think the pain is to much to bare. He hunts my dreams, I live in consist fear. He brings up old memories I forgot were even there. He lives off my misery and trys to deminsh my very soul. I try to fight with all my might, but hes power is much to great to try to block, deflect or control.I want to SCREAM and SHOUT and say leave me the Fuck alone!! But I'm meak and the chaos is balance between my two worlds
Ever last ounce of fight I have left wants to hate and dispise the monster I have inside me.I really have to get honest and ask myself. who is this monster that calls me by name?could it be possible? Can it really be? The monster in my head is really me.