UNTITLED

by Emma ML Noyes
(Byfield, Massachusetts)

I am who I am who I am
Selfish at times
More energetic then most
I have my faults and strengths
I am me
And yet I thought you knew who I am
My faults and my strengths
My weak points
But you criticize me
How I am
Who I am
I guess you do not know who I am or how I am
You do not except me the way I come
So you make me hide my inner self
My fault and my strengths
You call out my mishaps
Not relishing the damage you do
A strike on the wrist to end all the pain
To slowly drift away to the nothing I 'am'
Is that what it would take to make you see
As you try to fix the weak ends and tape together the pieces
You will realize it is useless as I am 'useless'
Because the life you deem worthy will never be yours
The person who I stood by through all the crap of the world and of my home
Is now and forever more the enemy
The ones whose comments and advice kill my spirit,
Like a blow from a freshly sharpened sword,
Whose looks shoots daggers,
The one who has betrayed me ,
Left me in the dark by myself with only their words to ponder endlessly,
Am I no good, not worth it?,
Is my advice not good enough, as it was before?
Do the words they shove down your throat help ,
Do they know you as I had thought I knew you?,
Are you becoming a shadow of yourself, just as the one you have made of me?,
Are you falling endlessly into the pit of depression?,
DO you wish one strike would end it all?,
I was me,
I was proud ,
I was confident and useful,
What am I now but a hollow shell of the girl I was,
A minor fragment of the mind and soul,
Emptiness whose anger is greater than any other,
Whose mind drifts constantly,
To a world better than the hell I am forced to live in,
To days when simplicity was key to success,
When words were said to cause no harm at all,
The world is damned as we know it now,
Hatred and fear will cause it to collapse on civilians
Like it has collapsed on me and my kin suffocating all,
Until we return to the darkness that wants to claim us.


~ EMLN