What Burns would think of Church in 2013

by David Bridges
(Shotts, Scotland)

Six days it says in Genesis to make the world and turn dark light
- But now I read ma science book and find its all been shite

I feel like I've been sold a pup, led up the gairden path
- Was Holy Joe the minister just sayin' it fur a laugh?

And if he wiz ah have to know what else the c-nt's invented,
- Ah need the truth, its no a joke, these lies have me tormented

Was all that stuff of fish and breed just made up, surely no??
- And water into wine, all pish? - Please say it isn't so.

A talking bush, aye right, Jeezo whit must have ah been thinkin?
- And Mary pregnant with nae man, some Roman's done her stinkin.

So I've made ma mind up, enough's enough, they'll be no more preachers' lies
- Next time I'm at a funeral efter some poor bastirt dies ...
If Holy Joe get on his horse and acts all high and mighty - I'll no be long in lettin' rip as he stands there in his nighty

Shut Up I'll shout all proud and loud, for that shall be my want
- If the dirty liar says a word I'll drown him in his font.
I'll stride right up with purpose and I swear I wulny falter - Then I'll drap ma breecks and lay a big broon jobby on his alter