Where did you go?

by AnyGirl
(Dayton, Ohio)

My heart plays me thoughts of you behind my closed eyes.
I hear all of your words in conversation w/me like perfectly placed sound bites.
People tell me I only want what I can't have, I just say "you're probably right".
No matter what I do you exist within me as the one I want to stand next to.
No one will ever be you damn it, and you know that it's true.
The agony turns into denial, turns into something else.
What am I supposed to do?
You say to forget about us and you and all of that mistake.
I did forget, that's why I feel this way.
The me that I am misses the you that you always have been.
Yet all I can do is wait, and hope to hear from you once again.
You are and will always be my one and only best friend.

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obvious emotion, but needs reworking
by: Anonymous

Author,

I understand the emotions you are expressing here, but I feel they are stated so plainly that it detracts from their true powers. I think you should strive to use more precise diction, and please don't use texting language or abbreviations (such as w/) unless it adds something to the message you are trying to convey. Here, it appeared to be laziness to me. Again, good effort, and a good way to get out raw emotion, but before submitting it as poetry, please try to transform it to something worthy of being remembered.

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